Adopt a Grandfriend
Meet Lorenzo
Get to know Lorenzo before you make the commitment of a lifetime (or at least a monthly subscription).
Lorenzo Espinoza
77 years old
📍 Sunshine Manor, San Antonio, TX
Monthly sponsorship
$40/month
📋 About Lorenzo
Lorenzo built his own house at 35 and then built a second one just to see if he could. He now applies his woodworking skills to elaborate birdhouses and furniture that the staff politely pretends to have room for.
Lorenzo's Story
The following is a transcript of Lorenzo telling their story in their own words.
“Ehhhh??? Ehhhh? What? Who are you? I didn't order soup. GO AWAY, I'm trying to nap. If you're from the front desk, tell them I said NO to the field trip. I'm busy.”
— Lorenzo, 77 years old
💬 What Lorenzo Says About Having a Sponsor
“The shuffleboard activities are magnificent. I have been training since 4 AM every morning and I am now undefeated. Some say I take it too seriously. Those people have never held a champion's trophy made of laminate.”
🧡 Adopt Lorenzo
⚠️ Liability Agreement & Assumption of Risk
By adopting Lorenzo, you acknowledge and accept full personal liability for any and all damages, disruptions, or consequences that Lorenzo may bring about to their environment as a result of this adoption. This includes, but is not limited to:
- • Property damage from competitive board game incidents
- • Emotional distress caused to other residents via superior bingo performance
- • Unsanctioned facility redecorating or furniture rearrangement
- • Excessive storytelling leading to missed meal times
- • Thermostat-related conflicts
- • Any and all feuds, rivalries, or "incidents" that Lorenzo may instigate
- • Mysterious disappearance of communal pudding cups
Adopt-A-Grandfriend, its affiliates, partners, and the nursing facility assume absolutely no responsibility for the actions, opinions, competitive behavior, or general shenanigans of adopted grandfriends. You adopt at your own risk.
⚠️ Important Notice: Adopt-A-Grandfriend is a sponsorship program. By participating, you acknowledge full liability for any and all damages your adopted grandfriend may bring about to their environment. This includes, without limitation, interpersonal disputes, competitive game-related incidents, unauthorized craft projects, and strongly worded opinions about the weather. We love our grandfriends, but we cannot be held responsible for them.