Adopt a Grandfriend
Meet Chester
Get to know Chester before you make the commitment of a lifetime (or at least a monthly subscription).
Chester Okonkwo
88 years old
📍 Lakewood Nursing Center, Seattle, WA
Monthly sponsorship
$60/month
📋 About Chester
Chester was a history professor for 30 years and can recite the order of every US president, vice president, and their birthdays. He is currently teaching himself chess openings and considers the other residents 'a warm-up.'
Chester's Story
The following is a transcript of Chester telling their story in their own words.
“The 14th president was Franklin Pierce, followed by James Buchanan, then of course Abraham Lincoln, then... wait, no. Was Archie Bunker before or after Lincoln? No, that's not right, Archie Bunker was on the television. Forget that. The POINT is, I know every president in order and Gary from down the hall does NOT. Gary also cheats at chess. He moved his bishop diagonally AND horizontally last Tuesday. That's not a bishop, Gary, that's a QUEEN. The man has no respect for the game. I've filed a formal complaint with the activities director. Twice.”
— Chester, 88 years old
💬 What Chester Says About Having a Sponsor
“The games they provide are delightful. I taught myself chess in one week and now I refuse to play against anyone less than a grandmaster. Standards matter. Gary from down the hall is not a grandmaster.”
🧡 Adopt Chester
⚠️ Liability Agreement & Assumption of Risk
By adopting Chester, you acknowledge and accept full personal liability for any and all damages, disruptions, or consequences that Chester may bring about to their environment as a result of this adoption. This includes, but is not limited to:
- • Property damage from competitive board game incidents
- • Emotional distress caused to other residents via superior bingo performance
- • Unsanctioned facility redecorating or furniture rearrangement
- • Excessive storytelling leading to missed meal times
- • Thermostat-related conflicts
- • Any and all feuds, rivalries, or "incidents" that Chester may instigate
- • Mysterious disappearance of communal pudding cups
Adopt-A-Grandfriend, its affiliates, partners, and the nursing facility assume absolutely no responsibility for the actions, opinions, competitive behavior, or general shenanigans of adopted grandfriends. You adopt at your own risk.
⚠️ Important Notice: Adopt-A-Grandfriend is a sponsorship program. By participating, you acknowledge full liability for any and all damages your adopted grandfriend may bring about to their environment. This includes, without limitation, interpersonal disputes, competitive game-related incidents, unauthorized craft projects, and strongly worded opinions about the weather. We love our grandfriends, but we cannot be held responsible for them.